The 12 Days After Christmas
by Tenshi-No-Kouhi
Summary: Ed and Winry find out that the days after Christmas aren't exactly special. ONESHOT


**A/N:** Ah, Christmas, a pleasant time of year...and so stressful *falls over* I know this is late but yeah, no time after it was finished ^^; 'Tis based off of the song "The 12 Days After Christmas". If you haven't heard it yet, find it! It's amazing! This was a gift for another of my friends and from what I heard, he loves it. XD Let's hope you feel the same.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, don't own 'em. Back off!

* * *

"I am not cheating on you!"

"Yeah? Then who was that girl that you were laughing with?!"

"That was Rose! She's only a friend! I would never cheat on you, especially with her!"

Winry glared at Ed who was backed up against the wall, watching the wrench she held warily.

"Right, why would she want to date you anyway? She doesn't date short people."

Edward's eyes narrowed and he bravely jumped directly in front of Winry, glaring up at her. "I am not short!" he growled through gritted teeth. Winry smirked, "Uh huh, because you are so tall!"

Glaring at her one last time, he stomped from the house, slamming the door behind him. A second later, Winry's wrench hit the wood of the door with a loud _thunk_.

* * *

Ed kicked at the dirt as he walked, shoving his hands into his pockets. 'Was I really flirting with her?' he wondered, not paying one bit of attention to his intended path. He blinked when a shadow fell over his on the road and looked up to find a tree; the very same tree where Winry and he had their first kiss.

Ed smiled fondly before remembering why he was out here. Scowling, he clapped his hands together and placed them on the base of the tree. Stepping back, he smiled as flames erupted where his hands had been moments ago. A frenzied chirping from the top of the tree captured his attention from the flames devouring the special tree and he glanced up to see the partridge that Winry had given him on their first Christmas. Smiling softly, he called the bird onto his finger and stroked it, lost in memories of that glorious Christmas.

Suddenly, he glared at the dirt and shook the bird off. Transmuting his automail into a shotgun, he took aim and fired; the bird dropped within a second.

* * *

Winry screamed as the bird dropped, gripping the windowsill. Tears fell from her eyes and she collapsed on her bed, sobbing. "How could he just destroy something like that?" she whined, pounding the bed with her fist. All at once, she was filled with a new emotion. She sat up, drying her tears, as anger was pumped through her veins. "How could he do that?" she growled, glaring at the lone figure by the burning tree, "Oh, he will regret it."

Striding away from the window, something metallic caught her eye and she found herself walking to her dresser where two white metallic doves lay. Edward had made them to her for their second Christmas; she smiled at the memories. Picking one up, she looked at it lovingly before striking its neck on the side of her dresser. The head rolled on her dresser as she dropped the body and picked up the second one. She did the same to the other one, laughing, and left the room to make lunch.

* * *

"That smells good!" Winry exclaimed as she entered the kitchen to see Ed stirring a tall pot of soup, "What is it?" "Chicken soup, you want some?" he asked, "It's good." "Sure!" He set a bowl in front of her and she finished it within seconds. "Wow, that was really good! Where did you get it?" Winry asked, bringing the bowl to the sink. "I made it," he said, busying himself with his own bowl. "Where did you get the chickens, then?" "The ones out back." Winry stopped dead. "You mean, the ones that I gave you as _pets_?" she whispered, her body completely numb. "Those would be the ones," he mumbled, grabbing his bowl and running out of the room. "I GOT THEM FOR YOU FOR CHRISTMAS, YOU BASTARD!" Winry screamed, picking up a kitchen knife on her way out.

* * *

After several days, they finally calmed down enough to be in the same room with each other. And they were doing just that, listening to the radio and reading. "Fuck!" Ed and Winry looked at each other, curious as to what was happening to the other. "I didn't say it," Winry said. "Neither did I!" "Fuck you dirty bitches!" As one, Winry and Ed looked to the birdcage in the corner to see their four birds screeching at each other. "You dirty whore!" "Okay, time to get rid of them!" Ed yelled, chucking the birdcage outside. "Damn it, I liked those birds!" Winry cried, slamming her book on the floor and stalking to her room.

* * *

"EDWARD!"

Ed flinched and looked to the stairs just as Winry came thundering down them. "Look!" she screamed, shoving her hand in front of his face, "Look what your cheap rings did to my FINGERS!" Ed gulped since he could clearly see the green marks ringing Winry's fingers. "You can't buy real gold, can you?!" she yelled, tossing five golden rings into his lap, "You would think you could with the salary you have but no! Fake gold it is for your GIRLFRIEND OF 8 YEARS!" "I'm…I'm sorry!" he stuttered, backing away from her. "Oh, save it," she growled, running back upstairs and coming back with a wrench. "OH, NOT AGAIN!" Ed cried, running from the house.

* * *

"Thank you very much, goodbye," Edward said softly, putting the phone back on its cradle. "Ed, who was that?" Winry asked, coming down the stairs. "Oh, um, you'll see," he mumbled, walking out the back door. She followed him to see a police cruiser sitting behind the house, collecting the six geese that she had given him for Christmas several years ago. "Ed, what's going on?" she asked, looking between the geese and the ASPCA officers. "The geese wouldn't lay," he said simply, walking closer to the cruiser. "So you give them to the ASPCA?" she snarled, pulling a pitchfork off of the side of the wall. "DON'T KILL ME!" Ed yelled, hiding behind an officer.

* * *

"OH MY GOD! WINRY, WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"What are you talking about, Edward?" she replied, breathless. "What happened to the swans?!" he yelled, picking up one of the limp swans. "Oh, they drowned," she replied, returning inside to finish working. "Swans don't just drown! They swim for god sakes! You know, in the song, one of the gifts is the swimming swans!" he cried, following after her with the swan still in his arms. "I never said they drowned by themselves," she said with a grin before slamming the door.

"WINRY! HOW COULD YOU DROWN OUR SWANS?!" "EDWARD! HOW COULD YOU GIVE OUR GEESE TO THE ASPCA?!"

"Shit…" he mumbled, walking outside once more to bury his swans.

* * *

The next morning, several armored trucks showed up in front of the Rockbell residence. From miles away, you could hear the squabbling as seventeen women and thirty-one men were herded into the trucks. As they drove away, a new argument broke out.

"What do you mean you're keeping her?!" Winry yelled, pointing at a maid at Edward's side. "What about him?!" Edward howled, gesturing to the drummer hiding behind Winry. "Well _someone_ has to keep me satisfied," she growled, smiling. Edward watched, flabbergasted, as she led the drummer upstairs and heard a door slam. "Mr. Elric?" the maid questioned, looking at him with concern. "C'mon," he mumbled, dragging her out of the house.

* * *

Throughout Risenbool, a shriek was heard. Winry threw wire-cutters at the wall and howled in fury. There, on her wall, was a note saying, "We are through, and your Christmas gifts are for the four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and partridge in a pear tree!" And it was signed by a Mr. Edward Elric. "EDWARD!" she shrieked out the door. At that moment, Al went by on a jackhammer. Winry stared at him in confusion before whirling around and slamming the door.

* * *

**A/N:** Hahaha, I had to have fun with this. There is just no way I couldn't XDDDDD Review and tell me if you like it?


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